Tim is what some would call a modern-day Renaissance Man. Others would just say he’s an idiot with ADD and OCD (an odd combination, definitely.) Here’s what accomplishments he can boast (which he does constantly, to anyone who will listen, regardless of whether or not they want to hear it):
- -He is a Certified Chef who has appeared on a TV cooking show, created award-winning wedding cakes, and worked for over 10 years in various kitchens across the Midwest.
- -He is a licensed body piercer with 9 years’ professional experience. He has apprenticed to do tattoos, and is currently saving up to buy his own tattoo gun-at which point he will be able to permanently mark the skin of others. [Insert evil laugh here].
- -Also a graphic and web designer, he has created print, web, and various other media projects for hundreds of bands, small businesses, and organizations.
- -For 4 issues, he designed, wrote for, and published a local music ‘zine called “ICKY.” He has plans to resurrect it at some point, if he ever finds the time.
- -He used to be a rave promoter, and threw 14 full-scale events and organized dozens of club nights. He also set up a vending table at others’ shows, and sold everything from bottled water to glowsticks, smoothies, and clothing for over 5 years.
- -During his stint as a rave promoter, he learned to DJ on turntables, but he sucked at it (still does). So, he taught himself to use drum machines, keyboards, and his computer to make music, and performed at several raves as a Live P.A. (basically someone who uses drum machines, keyboards, and a computer to make music live at a show). He also released several underground albums, which sold just enough copies to keep him from owing money to the record label.
- -After raves became no more, he became a rock concert promoter, and threw 12 teen concerts in his hometown including a “War of the Bands,” which featured 23 bands vying for a grand prize of $1000 and garnered attention from the local news media.
- -Having once worked for a bar/party/wedding DJ service, he now provides DJing for events using his own equipment and extensive (50,000+) MP3 collection. He also has a small smoke machine for ambiance.
- -Aside from DJing out and about, he used to be an on-air radio personality for his local college radio station (88.3, WLFC)-while he was in still in high school.
- -He was once a Store Manager for Blockbuster, which explains his ever-growing collection of DVDs (now approaching 500). He has watched almost all of these DVDs at least 10 times each, and can quote most of the movies whenever he feels it might be funny (which is often).
- -Once he found out that anyone can become a legally ordained minister for free online, he signed right up. He formed his own church in 2000 and got it recognized as real and legal by the US Government. He has performed minister-type duties at 8 wedding ceremonies, and can park really close to the front door at hospitals.
- -He has a slew of hobbies, including (but not limited to) making pillows, making candles, fixing/building computers, making icense and incense burners, messing around with his Dremel tool, writing (short stories, articles, rants, and now this), making soap, reading, watching movies, sex, and acting like a jackass. He is currently trying to figure out a way to make money from all of these things.
There is probably more, but for now he’s bored of this. He’ll probably be back on here to edit this self-serving, conceited diatribe sometime soon.
